


13x02 Coda: Dead Man Walking

by Piper_Halliwell1979



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Coda, Emotional Hurt, John Winchester's A+ Parenting, Past Abuse, Season/Series 13, Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, Worried Sam
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-20
Updated: 2017-10-20
Packaged: 2019-01-20 04:04:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12424641
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Piper_Halliwell1979/pseuds/Piper_Halliwell1979
Summary: Immediately after 13x02 Sam sees the bloody knife and assumes the worst. Talking with his brother doesn't make either man feel any better.





	13x02 Coda: Dead Man Walking

Sam stood up fast enough to move the kitchen table and spill the rest of his beer. He saw Dean charging back in carrying a large and bloodied butcher knife. “Dean...what did you do?” he asked slowly. His eyes were wide as saucers, searching his brother for injuries. No, Dean wouldn’t go out like that. Would he?

 

Dean threw the knife in the sink and gripped the counter. “Jack. He had the knife. He was...he was stabbing himself in the chest just over and over…” If it were any other kid he’d be a crying mess. Okay maybe his gut reaction was terror seeing him self-harm like that. Bringing himself pain.

 

“Is he okay?”

 

“Of course he is, Sam. I could stab him for days with an angel blade and it would heal every damn day. He knows, Sam. He knows he’s bad. He knows he’s gonna hurt somebody.”

 

Sam came up behind his brother and laid a hand on his back. “But he doesn’t  _ want _ to. He wants to be just like you. He wants to be good and he wants to honor his mom. He may have powers but he’s still a kid and he’s hurting.”

 

Dean pushed him away. “Why do you care so much?”

 

“Because Cas was my brother and like it or not he’s Cas’ son. He’s family, Dean. And don’t pretend like you haven’t been acting like you’re his step-dad. You didn’t want to let him have the beer. You know nothing can hurt him but you made him hide when we answered the knock on the door. I bet you almost got sick when you saw him with the knife.”

 

“How...dare...you? He’s not Cas’ kid!”

 

“He asked me why you hate him, Dean. And I didn’t have the heart to tell him it’s because when you look at him all you see is Cas. Everything you lost. Everything you...loved.”

 

Dean just quietly seethed. If he didn’t he would be punching Sam hard enough to break his nose. He was already digging his nails into his palms hard enough to bleed.

 

“When Mom came back, I realized something,” Sam continued. “You are so much like her. A constant reminder to Dad of what he lost. You thought you were hiding it all from me but at some point I saw just how bad it got for you. You’re better than this, better than  _ him _ .”

 

“Well maybe the world wouldn’t have been broken if he’d ended me before I became a monster.” 

 

Dean’s voice was so hollow. No rage, no sadness. Just empty. It scared the hell out of Sam. “Don’t say that.”

 

Dean shrugged. “I’m the reason for all this.” He looked over his shoulder at the bloodied knife in the sink. “Jack’s the last mess I’m cleaning up.”

 

“Azazel.”

 

“What?”

 

“He’s your Azazel. You may as well be a vengeful spirit.”

 

“Then you make sure I burn when it’s all done. I’m going to bed.”

  
Sam tried to stop him from leaving the kitchen but Dean checked him hard into the wall. It was gonna be a long night, maybe many long nights. Dean was acting like a dead man walking. The only way he could save Dean now was to save Jack.


End file.
